One of the subjects that has recently come to the surface of my parental concerns has been that of lust. In a society that is increasingly becoming very forthcoming with it's sexuality, and revealing all of its secrets, are we becoming numb to the lack of modesty? What does this mean to my duties as a man, husband, and father?
So I've decided to sit down and ponder these questions.
As a man I've been bombarded with anything humanly (and super humanly) possible. You have pop ups when you're browsing the Internet. These range from anything from ED medications/remedies, to full on solicitation to see someones God given assets up close and personal, but you get the picture. Society has somehow brought to me, within one or two clicks, what I was taught was completely taboo. I now have access to things in the privacy of my closet that took generations before me risk and daring thought. My father's generation had to humiliate themselves in a public forum to purchase what I have complete access to in the privacy of my web surfing. So what is my responsibility?
As a man it's my responsibility to focus on God's view of love, sex, and how we as the human race interact. Yes, it is my responsibility to concentrate on purity of mind, and keeping my thought life and eye gates in check. However, another question that begs to be answered is, why does my mind wonder when I see a voluptuous woman that is leaving little to the imagination? Why is sexuality the very first place my mind goes? Is it, as I've heard so many people say, because I'm wired for sex? Somehow in God's great plan I, as a man, have been created to see everything from a horny male perspective. If it's attractive my instinct is to sack it. Somehow, this doesn't compute. God created me in His image. It says He created Adam both male and female. (If you don't believe me look it up) so when God created Eve he took from Adam. He separated the two. In doing this He created a desire to find our other half, a desire to become whole. So my desire to be completed was really God's design from the moment He created Eve. So why is it that I'm layered with guilt and condemnation for enjoying the beauty of God's creation Eve? Please hear me, I'm not advocating pornography. In fact I am vehemently opposed to it. However, as with anything, healthy sexual desire can be perverted to something dirty. God made woman to be attractive, and he gave man a desire to be with women. So if it's not my desire for the fairer sex that is wrong, where does the blame lie?
Are women responsible to dress in such a way that curbs the desire of man? Should she be overly conscious of how she walks, talks, and acts so as to not spark the God given desire of a man? Much of the Christian community has put much of the responsibility of purity of a man on women. We have been coaching our daughters, and making sure that they realize the responsibility of modest dressing, and overly adorning themselves so that the boys will control themselves. Wait doesn't that seem backwards? Doesn't there seem to be a flip flop of blame?
So, where should we start changing these ideals? Well I'm glad you asked. First, I want to teach my sons to view women with value. Not like a hard to get commodity that is to be hunted. I want to instill in them that they are truly our other half. God created them for a purpose and destiny as well, and contrary to popular belief the female of the human species is not there simply to pleasure the man. It is not there God ordained call to wait on a man hand and foot. They are so much more than the vehicle to pleasure, and procreation. Yes, God created the union between a man and woman to be fun, and beautiful. However, if the woman is treated like a second class member of the team I beg to see how your unions will be earth shattering. Woman are designed to compliment the mission. If a man wants to get things done successfully he needs to have his better half in agreement. We like to throw the word submission around as if it means the man controls the wife. When in fact "submission" really means to be part of the same mission. I want to show my sons how to empower their wives to be what God called them to be. To lift their wives (girlfriends) up in their destiny. They need to give them opportunities like they would their best friend, to excel or get connected. It's through changing the entire paradigm of thought, that we will see our boys find breakthroughs in lust, and control. Our boys need to see the value of a woman beyond what she can do for them. If our boys start to change their views on girls. Then our girls will find their value as well. We will see confident, and secure women. Women who know they are daughters of the King. Women who feel valued, become the princess that God created them to be. Once their is a breakthrough in insecurity then self respect will take over, and we won't need the modesty police.
I pray that I have the wisdom to bring up sons to be men of honor. Men that will see the women in their lives as equals. May they realize that God didn't take woman from Adam just because he needed a slave, or concubine. I want them to become men that value the woman as a daughter of their King, and the princess she is.
Blessings
Nevin Hershberger
